Saturday, September 11, 2010

Squeezable Mayo.

For my English class, we have to write a complaint letter to someone or a business talking about a product that we hate. My dear roommate Jacee inspired me to write the following letter to Kraft Foods.

Dear Kraft Foods,

Let me just start out by saying that I adore Capri Suns. Ever since the fall of 2008 I have enjoyed drinking one of these succulent children’s drinks with whatever I am partaking of for breakfast that morning. Splash Cooler is my particular favorite, and I thank you for them. Keep up the good work in that department.

Now onto why I am really writing this letter. I would like to inform you that I believe your squeezable mayonnaise is not a needed commodity, but an unneeded surplus product. I do not like the idea of squeezing mayonnaise out of a small slit of an opening onto my sandwich or whatever else I am eating with my mayo.

Not only does the squeezable mayo tubs make me slightly queasy, but I think they could be attributed to weight gain if not used appropriately. When something as thick as mayo is squeezed out of a tube or container, there is no controlling how much of the said substance will end up on its destination. This is problematic for people who are weight conscious, or even those who are concerned about their health, because mayonnaise is high in fat and calories.

I believe the reason you offer a product such as squeezable mayonnaise is for convenience purposes. However, when using the squeezable containers, in many cases a knife will still be needed to spread the condiment on the bread. So doesn’t that cancel out the whole reason this product is being used? It is my personal opinion that the operation of these bottles should be discontinued, they are not necessary, nor a healthy concept.

Thank you for your time.

Kind Regards,
Ashley Palmer

After our English teacher grades them he will indeed be mailing them for us. Professor Bean has indicated if we get a reply that will bring forth extra credit to our grade. I am crossing my fingers.


  1. My Grandpa used to be the CEO of Kraft. I'll send him a link to this letter.

  2. Is a joke :) He did work there, but doesn't anymore, and I was joking about sending him the link.
    Also, I hate mayo.

  3. OH my Hilary! When I read your first comment I was indeed nervous that you were going to be sending my shank of a letter out into the open. That would be ever so embarrassing. PS your Ephraim boyfriend look-a-like has disappeared. However, I am choosing not to give up hope.